


Synchronicity of the Souls

by ShadowArtemis4456



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Cullen and OC are soulmates, F/M, OC is Rogue, OC meets Cullen during the Blight, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-09-17 09:31:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16972074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowArtemis4456/pseuds/ShadowArtemis4456
Summary: Xandra has heard the term “Soulmate” used so many times in her 23-year lifespan that she no longer believes in it, yet there is a tiny part of her that still believes her other half is out there somewhere waiting. After all, she does have a "tattoo" that she's had from birth marking her as a soulmate to someone. But after three failed relationships that childhood dream has been crushed. Yet, as she is thrust into a world she once thought as just a story, she just so happens to meet her other half while he’s caged and damn near insane.Cullen is a Templar of the Templar Order and is proud to be one, yet he silently yearns for the day he finds the one person who bears the same marking that is upon his left shoulderblade upon his back as it is encouraged for Templars to find their soulmate (unless said soulmate is a mage) as it somehow makes then stronger, faster and better able to perform their duty (and fucks with the biology of both soulmates). After being allowed to leave the tower to aid with ending the Blight, he speaks with her only to discover that she is now fighting the bond the two share.





	1. Prologue

"Ouch!" A young man yelped out as he felt the painful sensation of something akin to quills being yanked out of his back by a young woman around his age.

"Well if you have listened to me you wouldn't be needing me to remove these damn quills now would you?" She snarled in retort

"OUCH! I wasn't expecting a porcupine to just appear underneath me and stick me as I slipped!" He returned in a whimper while an irritated sigh was the only response he received as she yanked out yet another quill.

"One more," She told him as she wrapped her fingers around it, "This one will hurt the most."

"You just like to see me in pain..." he whined as she smirked, though her smirk was hidden by the half mask she wore which covered her mouth and nose.

"No," She yanked and he screamed like a little girl. "Wow...you really are a pussy..." She frowned as she brought out her medkit and began treating the holes left by the quills. After applying some ointment and placing some adhesive bandages upon the area where the quills had been she wrapped some more bandages, these ones as white as snow around his torso to help keep the adhesive ones in place she stood and walked around to sit down by the fire and handed him a bowl so he could finally eat.

"Well, it's not my fault that my pain threshold is so low."

"True but still, that shouldn't have made you scream like the little bitch I always knew you to be."

"You are brutal today aren't you?" the young man inquired as the young woman raised a brow.

"When am I not?" She inquired as she settled into a seated position with one leg outstretched while the palm of one hand rested on the knee of her other leg, but then she leaned forward she set her left elbow onto her outstretched left leg and stared into the fire.

"Point taken," he frowned as he began to eat the stew she had prepared while studying her. Unlike most people this young woman had an unusual combination of hair and eye color that made her seem so different from everyone else while still looking quite human; her hair which was a beautiful shimmering blue-black did not match the "normal" definition of people who had her eye color which was a sapphire blue but, to him, it did hint that her hair might have once been that usual blonde that was seen with those who had blue eyes.  "So, Xandra have you had any luck finding your so-called "soulmate" yet?"

The young woman, Xandra, snorted as she looked to the young man and noted how the fire glinted in his mossy green eyes. "After three failed relationships? I have given up beside. Having a soulmate around would probably be irritating as we wouldn't be able to spend such loving brotherly-sisterly time together that you are so adamant about us having. Besides, seeing and hearing my big brother scream like a little girl as I yank out porcupine quills from his back is far more entertaining than spending a day indoors." 

"Ha-ha," he said in a very unamused voice, "Bitch."

Xandra smiled, "Yes I am and damn proud of it too."

The young man, her brother, rolled his eyes at that. "So question."

"hmn?"

"Why do you wear that half mask thing that only covers your nose, mouth and throat?"

"Because I can. Why do you insist on wearing that gods awful shitty looking plate armor?" 

"Same reason I told you to wear that hooded rogue outfit, you never know," He smirked as Xandra rolled her eyes and allowed a comfortable silence to overtake their little camp.

In the distance, she could hear a brook as it bubbled towards whatever creek or river was nearby, heard the birds chirping away, she was also pretty sure she heard what she assumed to be an owl or two hooting somewhere in the distance, she could hear the buzzing of the insects as they went about their business, and listened to the crackling and snapping of the campfire as it ate at the wood they were using for its fuel, listened as the horses she and her brother had ridden upon huffed and snorted as they munched on some grass they found in the foliage of the forest, and soon scratched at her chin while her brother ate. _This was a good plan... It's actually very relaxing._ Xandra thought to herself.

"I think I hear bees," Her brother whispered as she listened closely. 

"That means a nest is probably somewhere nearby. So long as we leave them alone they will leave us alone," She waved him off as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the soothing sounds of nature all around her. But it wasn't just the sounds she was enjoying, it was also the clean scent of the woods and the smell of the campfire she was mentally rolling around in too. 

"Not to break the calm silence, but why did you give up on finding your soulmate? Surely he is still out there somewhere?"

"Maybe, but I figured to let him come to me. It's become too much of a hassle to keep looking for him and only find assholes every time."

"That is a good point," Her brother nodded as he finished his food then went to rinse his bowl out as Xandra slid to the ground to rest her back against the log and leaned her head back to drop even further into a relaxed position, after her brother returned, she heard him dig something out of his pack and smirked as she listened to him play his flute. It wasn't one of those metal ones that she had so often seen, no, this was the one their grandfather had given to him which was made of wood and produced the sweetest sounds when he played on it. Listening to the rhythm he set, Xandra began to hum along to the song before standing and making some of the tea she had brought with her. Sitting back down as she waited for the water for the tea to boil so it would seep into it, she returned to humming before she began to sing the song their grandmother had always sang to the sounds of their grandfather playing the flute. The song had no words to it but that had never stopped their grandmother, nor would it stop her; checking on the tea after a bit she poured two cups and set one down by her brother while she returned to her seat and took a sip of hers after pulling down her "half-mask". When he finally stopped playing, he took a drink of his tea and looked towards Xandra who was looking skyward. "I miss them."

"So do I, but as they would tell us, it was their time to go. We keep them alive in our hearts and memories."

"Yes, we do," He closed his eyes and sighed. "Wasn't it grandmother who stated that your mark marks you as a soulmate to someone?"

"Yes, it was, she also said to not be surprised if he was a few years younger then me. Which I still don't understand what that means but it's whatever." 

"I will laugh if it ends up being a nineteen-year-old."

"Gods I would kill someone if that were the case. That's not yet a young man." 

"What and being twenty is?"

"It's out of the teens at least."

"True," After that, they returned to the silence and she smiled as he continued to play the flute until the night began to settle over the forest and they put out the fire and tied their horses near their tents. After that was done they went into their respected tents and one fell asleep and started snoring while Xandra remained awake and briefly touched the lion "tattoo" that was forever present upon her shoulderblade.

 _I wonder if I will ever meet my soulmate?_ She wondered before closing her eyes and passing out to her brother's snores.


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Start of Xandra's (and her Brother's) Dragon Age Origins adventures

A figure was walking silently through the forest towards the tents of the sleeping siblings. As the figure approached the horses lifted their head and snorted but otherwise made no sound for they did not fear the person walking up. Smiling the person reached out and touched the noses of both and they nickered softly. the figured smiled softly in return, before turned and touching both tents, trying to gain a feel for the energies of both siblings, only to look towards the right and smiled,  _"There you are, Xandra."_ the figure carefully focused their energy and smiled.  _"So you do match his energy. You are his other half and now it is time for you to go meet him."_ With that, the figure did something before vanishing from the sight of the horses who looked to each other in silent wonder.

****

Xandra awoke from her dreams feeling as if something had happened while she had been asleep, yet her groggy mind couldn't figure out what it was until she stepped outside of her tent to see that the forest had grown quieter then it would have even at night. Looking towards where her brother still slept, she frowned and turned away before going to check on the horses, as she was giving them water and their breakfast, her brother woke and was soon making a light breakfast for him and her. "Hey, Lycaon?"

"Yes?"

"Do you feel off?"

"Like?"

"As in foggy like something happened last night while we slept?"

"A bit," He nodded as they sat and ate. After they were finished and everything cleaned up and the fire put out completely, they took their tents down and rolled them up before tying them to the saddles and leaping up as the horses snorted. Checking over everything once more, Xandra and Lycaon turned their horses towards whichever direction they figured a road to be in and began the long trek while speaking very little. When they came to a road, Xandra stopped her horse and her brother turned to her, "Sis?"

"Does this look...familiar to you?" She questioned as she looked around causing him to do the same. 

"No." He frowned as she took the lead. 

"Let's see if we can find a nearby town because this looks familiar to me in some strange way," She told him as he nodded. 

"I'll follow you," He told her as she led the way. Saying nothing as they rode, Xandra couldn't say why this place was so familiar to her until they stopped outside a town where he memory was jolted into working again after speaking with a man in armor with a symbol marked upon his breastplate. 

 _"Shit..."_ She muttered walking over to her horse and hopped in the saddle while her brother looked over at her.

"What?"

"Remember that game series I loved to play until all three of my discs were too scratched up to run in either of my xboxs?"

"The Dragon Age ones? Yeah, what about them."

"Take a wild guess as of to what world we are in?"

"Fuck..."

"Took the word right out of my mouth," Xandra sighed. 

"Well, which one are we starting off in?"

"Origins. Meaning we are in time for the start of the Blight according to all information I received from that Templar over there." 

"Sounds like fun," Lycaon frowned.

"Only if your definition of fun is being attacked by zombie-like creatures that are controlled by an old god that is really just a giant flying fire-breathing lizard that has contracted the blight."

"Oh." Lycaon frowned as he looked away before looking back at her. "So... what should we do?"

"To be honest I have absolutely no-huh?"

"Excuse me, But I hope I'm not bothering either of you," Both Xandra and her brother looked to see another Templar walking up and Xandra dismounted to greet him upon recognizing that he was a higher up in the Templar Order, or at least a higher up around her. 

"You're not bothering us at all," Xandra told the man as Lycaon took the reins of her horse and frowned, "My brother and I were just discussing what we should do next." The man nodded at that and spoke swiftly, getting straight to the point as she listened. As they discussed whatever topic he had come to speak with her about, Lycaon felt something pulling his gaze from the two and towards the town where they landed upon a fiery red-headed woman who seemed to be looking around despite the fact that she was with about four others (five if you counted the hound at the feet of the woman who had what seemed to be a staff of sorts upon her back). Something in Lycaon begged for the woman to turn to look at him and the moment her emerald eyes met his mossy colored ones he found it hard to look away, even as Xandra called out for him. "Lycaon!" She snapped but he was completely zoned out. Looking at the man she knew now to be the Knight-Commander of this town, he shrugged until he looked in the direction that Lycaon was and smiled before turning back to Xandra. 

"Lady Xandra?"

"Please just call me Xandra, _I hate titles..._ " She grumbled that last bit and he nodded. 

"As you wish, I believe that Ser Lycaon has discovered his Soulmate."

"What?" She looked at her brother then towards the direction that he was staring in and wasn't sure if she should be amazed or upset at that fact he had found his soulmate first. "Well I'll be damned," She frowned as the Knight-Commander looked to her with confusion and she told him why. "We always figured that between the two of us, I would be the one to find my soulmate first... apparently not."

The Knight-Commander smiled, "Ah." He nodded before frowning. "If I may?"

"Hmn?' Xandra looked towards him. 

"Do you both have a Soulmate mark?"

"A what?" He explained what a Soulmate mark was and she "ooh'd" and nodded. "Yes I have one, it's actually on my shoulder blade. However, I'm not entirely sure what it looks like other then what my mother said it looked like."

"What did she say it looked like?"

"A roaring lion."

"We can have one or two of the Chantry sisters look at it for you and see if your mother was correct if you like?"

"I wouldn't want to be a bother to them."

"Nonsense," He smiled, "Besides once it's looked at we can help you track down the one who has a matching mark so you two can meet." He offered that bit and watched as she thought it over. 

 _That is too much to hope for...but if they are willing to help me find him..._ "Alright," Xandra nodded before turning to snatch the reins of her horse from her brother's hand, finally snapping him back into reality. 

"Huh, what?" Lycaon blinked as she took the reins of his horse to.

"Go say hi to your soulmate, I will take the horses."

"Actually," the Knight-Commander called for another Templar who took the reins from her, "We have a stables next door to the Chantry, we can have two of the recruits look after your horses for a bit." 

"Alright," Xandra agreed as she looked to her brother once more. "Well go!" She gave him a push and watched as he began to blush and walk towards the group to speak with the woman. Xandra sighed and put her face in her palm as the Knight-Commander smiled but eventually she followed the man to the building she figured to be the Chantry to have her marking looked over.

What she did not know was that miles away, in a tower that rose high and proud, a young blonde haired Templar was just minding his own business until he felt his mark burn just a bit and so looked towards the windows with the hope that his Soulmate had finally been found. A week later, after he was informed that his soulmate had indeed been found but was traveling with Two Grey Wardens, a chantry sister and the woman's only brother, the young Templar went to bed that night and touched the mark on his shoulder with the hope that he would soon see her, which he would but not in the way he would want.


	3. Two

Xandra sat watching her brother as he and his soulmate spoke. A week had passed and she was amazed at how quickly the group was in accepting Lycaon and her. "A copper for your thoughts?" Turning her gaze to the young woman who came walking up to her she sighed before answering her.

"There is not enough coin in the world for my thoughts," She responded as she returned to watching her brother and his soulmate, who she now remembered to be named Leliana, and felt a stab of pain. 

"Thinking about your unknown Soulmate?"

"How can you tell, Solona?"

"Easy. I know the look very well as I've seen it with others as well as had it myself,” Solona, as Xandra had learned her name to be, plopped down next to her. 

“Aren’t you and Alistair Soulmates though?” 

“We are, and its fucking amazing.” 

“Do I dare ask?” Since having met the soon to be legendary Solona Amell herself, Xandra and the mage had hit it off right away much to everyone’s surprise. 

“Well if you really really want to know-“ 

“HEY! WHOA! NO! I’m good!” 

“Oh Come on! At least let me tell you a little bit!” 

“Fine! But no extensive details, there isn’t enough brain bleach in any world to clear that potential image away...” Xandra frowned as Solona began to describe what it was like to have a Soulmate. 

“... While the sex is amazing, Alistair seems to have physically changed and so have I.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yeah," She then went on to explain about the physical changes that Alistair and she had gone through after their first "coupling" only a few days ago. "I'm surprised though."

"About what?"

"How come your brother and Leliana haven't done anything like that yet?"

"My brother is one of those rare types of men from our world who will not force a woman to do something that she does not want to do nor ready to do," Xandra explained as they spoke a little longer. 

****

As the two women spoke, Neither Xandra nor Lycaon could have imagined that miles away, across an ocean and in a city in the Free Marches, a man stood on a cliff overlooking the ocean waves as they crashed against the rock face. "So you can confirm it? My dear little sister's children have come to Thedas?" 

"Yes, Ser," The person the man was speaking too nodded, "And One of them has already found their Soulmate."

"Which one? My Neice or my Nephew?"

"Your Nephew, Ser. They are traveling with the two remaining Fereldan Grey Wardens."

"Interesting..." The first man muttered before his second spoke again causing him to look over towards the man who wore Templaric Armor. 

"There's more, the Templar Order has been informed in full that your Niece shares the same Soulmark as a young and upcoming Templar by the name of Cullen Rutherford, but she does not yet know about him nor does he know what she looks like, only that she has been found and directed towards the circle where he is serving."

"Well, this is interesting news," The first man smirked now, "especially since the rumors that flying around tell a tale about how the Circle in Kinloch Hold has fallen to Blood Mages and abominations. Alas, that poor young man might not ever get to know my Niece. Wouldn't that be a shame?"

"If I may Ser? What if he does meet her?"

"He would be lucky then. If my niece is anything like her mother, She will not allow him to be with her until after a certain age and he is what? Nineteen?" 

"Yes, Ser, he is, but his twentieth birthday is coming up here in a few months if I recall right."

" _IF_ he lives that long that is. Blood Mages and Abominations, as well as demons, are nasty little critters last I checked. It really wouldn't surprise me to find out that he lost his mind if he survived all that."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then we shall see what the coming years bring for them. After all, its only a matter of time before the Grey Warden's head to Kinloch to ask for the aid of the Circle."

"What should we do?"

"We will wait and see how this all turns out. If Rutherford lives and manages to meet her, well...He will have a lot of work ahead of him to earn her trust and companionship." With that, the first man returned his gaze to the sea and smiled.  _Well, sister dearest, it appears that your offspring have come home to the world you hated so much. For now though I will wait and leave your son and daughter to their own devices. But in five years I will attempt to reach out and make contact with them and tell them what all I know._


	4. Three

Xandra was cussing up a storm as she, Alistair and Leliana were attempting to remove a rather nasty little thorny vine that Xandra had somehow been the one to get her leg caught in. “Well sis, you should’ve been paying closer attention,” Lycaon smirked as she turned a deadly glare his way. 

“I will rip out your heart and force feed it to you.” Xandra snarled back at him in response. To say she was in a very dark mood would have been a downright lie. She was only moody because of three reasons: the lack of sleep, the rain that had been pouring for what had felt like a full three weeks straight since they had left the place known as Redcliffe to head to the circle tower where Solona had grown up and now the fact that she had lost her footing in mud (of all things) and was now entangled in thorny vines that were digging into her pants and skin, causing her to bleed as she and the two who had tried to “rescue” her were cutting away the vines while being careful not to cut her. By the time they had finished cutting her out of the vines, her already sour mood had darkened even more, and Solona noted it. 

"We are almost there, I promise!" She told Xandra who frowned but nodded as they continued on the path. They were close enough to see the tower looming in the distance, but stopped at the nearby inn for food and to get warm baths for the night. After Xandra had her bath, however, she found herself sitting in a chair at a table out in the main area of the tavern-slash-inn and was staring blankly out into the night, when Solona came to find her. "Hey, Xandra." Xandra turned her head towards the mage and frowned. 

"Solona?"

"Mind if I sit?" 

"Not like I can stop you," Xandra pointed out as Solona sat down. 

“True...” Solona trailed off for a moment. “Xandra?” 

“Hmn?” 

“I have a question, or rather a wonder.” 

“Oh?” 

“How come...why do you...” Solona sighed then, “I'm not as good at these kinds of things so I’ll just be blunt,” Xandra turned and blinked as she asked what was on her mind. “Why is it, that when anyone mentions that you have a soulmate, you seem to flinch while giving them a smile?” 

“I’m surprised you’ve noticed,” Xandra sighed. “I flinch and give that pained smiled because where I am from... the word Soulmate, itself, is overused- thank you,” Xandra told the bartender who had brought over some bread for her to eat while drinking. “People claim to be Soulmates, but they never actually are, though there are the few cases that I can only guess at actually being Soulmates. My parents were one of those cases.” 

“Really?” Solona couldn’t imagine a place like that, but she wasn’t going to doubt it as stranger things had, could and most likely _would_ happen. 

“Yes. My parents had the same mark, though...now that I think about it...they never really spoke of _HOW_ they found out about each other or how they discovered they shared the same mark...” Xandra trailed off for several moments. 

“Oh...” Solona felt slightly bad for prying into that part of Xandra’s life without meaning to. “You...speak of them as if they aren’t...around anymore...” 

“Because...They aren’t...” Xandra closed her eyes and picked at her bread as Solona looked away. Now Solona really felt bad and was inwardly calling herself stupid for bringing that up. “My parents died...three years ago because one of my father’s brothers...betrayed our entire family.” 

“What?!” Solona asked a bit too loudly before lowering her voice as the other members of their group soon joined them, with Lycaon moving close to his sister. “Why would he do such a thing?!”

Lycaon frowned then, “Our father’s brother was...” he frowned as he searched for the right word, “Well... He was a very jealous man. He was upset that our grandparents choose our parents to take on the family fortune and was also pissed off that they also left Xandra and me everything in their will. Their lands, their two homes, even the family business was to be ours, and the same went for our parents. Everything was to be evenly split between Xandra and I, and he hated it." Lycaon trailed off as Solona absorbed this new information before they each went to their rooms, with Xandra laying on her back and rubbing her necklace once more (possibly for the umpteenth time in just that week alone) while her thoughts trailed off to wondering who her soulmate was while not knowing that he was just across the lake.

****

The next day, Solona took Alistair, Xandra, and Lycaon across the lake with her to the Tower but Xandra felt a sudden pricking sensation in her shoulder and wondered if her soulmate was somewhere in the tower and her thoughts would be proven correct as they entered the tower, as the pricking sensation grew in intensity causing her to look at Solona as they walked past the doors that lead deeper into the tower. Solona watched as Xandra made a tiny motion with her shoulder and nodded as she understood what Xandra was silently questioning. Stopping to speak with one of Solona's old teachers, Xandra felt the elder's eyes land on her for a moment before she joined them as they went deeper into the tower. With each passing step, the sensation in Xandra's shoulder grew into a steady burning until at last they stepped foot onto the floor where Xandra just somehow **_KNEW_** her soulmate was on. After fighting their way to the middle of the area (and a rather unwanted nap) Xandra felt something pulling her towards a nearby door and looked to Solona with a very questioning gaze as she returned it. "In there?" Xandra wondered as Solona wondered why Xandra's soulmate would be in that room that she knew led to the harrowing chamber above. The moment they entered the first thing Xandra noted was a strange pinkish-purple barrier in the corner of the room, the second thing was that the person who was in said cage was none other than a man she knew to be named Cullen Rutherford and suddenly she realized just why she was drawn to this particular room.  _He was her Soulmate._ For several moments, Xandra did not speak and allowed Solona to speak with him (which meant she listened to his ranting and raving in silence), let Solona ask the questions but soon turned her gaze away to her brother to looked at her with wonder. She let him know, through her eyes that she would explain (after they were done in the tower) why she had been drawn to this room and why she wasn't looking at the man in the magical cage.  Lycaon, however, looked to the man then back to Xandra with eyebrows that had shot skyward, all while not knowing that Cullen had caught the confusion on Lycaon's face and was now looking at him only to feel something pulling his attention towards Xandra as they group soon rushed up the stairs. 

Cullen's mark was burning. Xandra's mark was burning. They had found each other at last but unknown to Cullen, Xandra was now fighting against the mark and their shared bond. He could not know that Xandra  _knew_ what he was going to be like after the Blight for the next ten years, but nor did she know that during these next years of their lives, she would be the one to aid in changing how he saw mages despite the fact that she was a rogue. Right now, however, as Xandra battled it out with whoever it was up in the Harrowing chamber, Cullen was nervously waiting for her return. He wanted to speak to her, to see if she would accept him as her soulmate; as he waited for her return, he wondered what she was like, what hobbies she had, what things she liked and many more things he never could have imagined every thinking about anyone before. Suddenly he was shaken from his thoughts when the barrier that had been around him suddenly vanished and he stood there blinking for a moment before realizing that Solona had actually succeeded. Deciding to wait for Solona and her group, he watched as Solona came down, helping the man he knew to be the First Enchanter, but as he watched he watched, Alistair walking close to the two, and trailing behind him came Xandra and her brother, both of whom were teasing each other despite the fact that both had some injuries. He watched as Xandra spoke as she poked her brother's arm, "You know brother, Leliana is going to throw the biggest shit fit when she finds out what you did." 

"Please don't tell her..." He begged of her as she snorted. 

"It's not ME you have to worry about. Solona is going to be the one you need to be begging," She told him as she looked towards Solona who called out to them in confusion after having spoken with Cullen. 

"What about me?"

"Lycaon needs to beg you to not tell Leliana what he did a few moments ago."

Solona looked at the man with a frown, "No promises."

"Please don't...she will kill me." Lycaon begged

"If grandmother couldn't kill you I don't think anyone can," Xandra muttered before he looked over towards her. 

"The only reason grandmother threatened to kill me was because of the stunt you pulled." 

"That was still fun!" Xandra smirked as Lycaon frowned. 

"Only for you...."

"You're the one who got your ass beat, not me." Lycaon shot her a dark look then as she smirked.

"What happened?" Solona asked now fully interested as Xandra looked over to her. 

"I'll tell you later, I promise," Xandra promised before finally focusing her attention on Cullen, not because she had been purposely ignoring him, but because the conversation she had been having had honestly stolen her attention from him. 

"I'm just going to jump straight to introducing myself," She told him point-blank. "I am Xandra."

Cullen was slightly surprised at how blunt and straight-forward she was about it, "Cullen," he told her as she studied him for a moment. He studied her but soon enough Solona suggested heading to the bottom to speak with the Knight-Commander and Xandra was swift to agree. As they walked Cullen wondered what he should speak with Xandra about, but she was always ahead of him, near Alistair and Solona in case the First Enchanter needed another shoulder to lean against. After the reached the bottom, the group spoke with the Knight-Commander and the First Enchanter, but as the group prepared to leave, Cullen spoke with his Knight-Commander. "...May I?" he asked as he looked towards Xandra, who was watching him with a hint of surprise. 

"Of course." The Knight-Commander knew that Cullen would need to be near Xandra in order to lay his claim on her when the time came, and from what the older man could see, that time would come soon. Watching Cullen leave, the Knight-Commander frowned.  _She is his soulmate, but she seems to be ill-prepared for what being his soulmate means. She also seems to be fighting the bond. I pray that Cullen cannot only teach her what being a soulmate in this world means but can open her heart to the bond... Both of them need this bond. Especially if and when Andri discovers that Cullen lives and is now traveling with her in Amell's group._


	5. Four

Xandra rested her head against the tree she was leaning against and closed her eyes, all while trying NOT to groan in pain. Since Cullen had recieved permission to travel with them, she had been finding it harder and harder to keep her gaze, and thoughts, away from him and he seemed to know it. Though he did not press the matter of their shared soul-mark, he had come to the conclusion that she was, for all intents and purposes, fighting the bond; but at this moment in time, all she really wanted to do was find the young templar (who had turned twenty a few weeks ago) steal him away to a place as far away from the group as possible (while still close enough that they could be forewarned of danger) and ride him into the sweet oblivion known as the climax as they came together physically. “Xandra?” 

 _Fuck me!_ Xandra bit her lip to keep from making any noise as the person she was thinking of came searching for her. She knew her luck sucked but that didn’t stop her from praying to whatever deities existed for him to pass by her and not notice here. 

“Xandra are you alri-!” The minute he saw her, seemed to be the same moment he picked up her scent, which made her compare him to Solona’s Mabari. “Xandra?” He asked as she managed to open up her eyes and look at him. “Your in heat.” 

“What?” She asked as he drew closer, and suddenly that need she had felt (that she had managed to squash down a bit) earlier came back in full force as she picked up his scent of oakmoss (which she wasnt aware of the moss even having a scent but it was whatever in that moment) and elderflower which had assulted her now sensative nose. 

“You’re in heat,” Then remembering that she didn’t really know how Soulmates in this world worked, he decided to explain it to her. “Once someone finds their soulmate, a woman’s body changes. Instead of...um...” he blushed fiercely for a moment, “...that... happening every month, they go into heat but no one outside of other women or those who already have their soulmates will know,” he was closer to her now but stopped a few feet away from her. “Your body will only ever go into heat for me. No one else.” 

Xandra looked thoughtful for a moment before biting the inside of her cheek. “I...” She wasn’t sure what to say. 

“Your not in full heat yet,” Cullen commented as he watched her. How badly he wanted to take her right then and there, but he would not. Lycaon had told him that she would come around to the idea of being Cullen’s Soulmate eventually, he just had to make sure to let her come to it on her own terms in her own time. Cullen knew that so long as he didn’t press for anything, to include his right to be with her both physically and soulwise, Lycaon’s words would prove true. “And as badly as I want you, I won’t take you unless you want me to.” She looked shocked at that confession he made, and for a moment he saw her need of him warring with her more logical side. He knew she knew that this wasn’t something to just “jump” headlong into as it would bind both of them together forever as well as change some phycial features they had. He would become physically stronger, faster, would be of sharper mind and would be able to preform his duties better and would (over time) be able to break away from the lyrium he took now if he chose to do so. She would become swifter, a bit more physically stronger, but would also become leaner and deadlier then she was already, but their bond would be unbreakable. They would always be able to find the other no matter where the other went, would have the ability to soothe the other where no one else could, and their sex drives would skyrocket because of the extra stamina they would have because of the changes to them their first coupling would create. He could see (and smell) how badly she wanted him, how badly she _**needed**_ him, but there was hesitation in her eyes and body language. He knew that if she were to allow him to “help” her, then for the next few days (to a full week), she would be unable to go anywhere with Solona as the “heat” would be in full swing and he would need to be with Xandra every moment (though he would ensure that nothing came of their coupling). “If you want I can speak with Solona. She knows a way to suppress the heat, and can use her magic to stave it off for a few days. At least until we reach Redcliffe.” He watched as Xandra debated on that before nodding. 

“Please?” 

“I will return momentarily,” With that, Cullen left Xandra be as the young woman absorbed all the information he had parted with.

While he was “fetching” Solona, Xandra was now heavily debating with herself. Despite the fact that Cullen was now “of age” in her book, she wasn’t entirely sure if she wanted to accept him, but she also remembered that he also wasn’t pushing her into accepting him and had even stated that he would not take her against her will. As she weighed the pros and cons of being with him, she was shaken from her thoughts when Solona suddenly appeared next to her, causing a sudden and surprised yelp to escape her. “Xandra? Are you alright?” 

“Well I was lost in thought when you decided to suddenly scare the living daylights out of me.” 

Solona smiled sheepishly at that, “Sorry,” she managed in a small laugh. “I did try to call out to you but apparently you were too lost in thought to notice.” Solona looked her over and smiled softly. “You need to have the heat suppressed?” Xandra nodded as Solona placed a hand on her shoulder and began to pour magic into her body. “This will keep it away for a couple of days, at least until we return to Redcliffe and fix most everything. But after that you will need to allow Cullen to lay his claim on you.” 

“But I’m not even sure if I even want this or him...” 

“Is this your doubts speaking?” Solona asked as Xandra frowned. 

“I...well...” Xandra seemed to deflate then. “Yes...” Xandra looked away from Solona. “I just... I’m still very new to this whole “Soulmate” thing and the fact that coming here as changed my body to go into heat like I’m some kind of female...” she bit her lip as Solona smiled softly. 

“Female dog?” Xandra nodded before continuing. 

“I really dont want to have my choices taken away from me. Where I come from... I’ve read stories that involve theories of how possible worlds exist where human women can go into heat,” Solona raised a brow, “Don’t ask...I like some of those stories...” Xandra was blushing now but continued. “Its a whole thing about humans being classified as Alphas, Betas and Omegas and how women of each one can be taken and some other stuff I don’t exactly remember at this moment.” 

“So when Rutherford told you about how women’s bodies in this world stop having their monthlies and start going into heat, it reminded you of that?” 

“Yes.” 

Solona was intrigued about these stories now but wouldn’t press for the information, “Xandra, you needn’t worry about that. Once a woman finds her soulmate, yes her body does start going into heat instead of having monthlies, _**ONLY**_ her soulmate can, if the person is a man, impregnate her.” Xandra frowned but Solona continued, “There are no “Alphas” or “Betas” or even “Omegas” despite the fact that we go into heat. You will only ever go into heat for Cullen, just as I will only go into heat for Alistair, and just like us Leliana will only ever go into heat for Lycaon when she does.” 

“What do you mean by “when she does”?” That had Xandra’s attention. 

“Your brother’s not sexual active right now is he?” 

“Fuck if I know, I always assumed he was gay. Looks like the jokes on me...” 

“Im surprised at that too because when I saw him that first time I assumed that too.” Xandra and Solona shared a giggle at Lycaon’s expense. “Anyway, if neither of the soulmates are willing to be sexually active right after meeting or swear to wait until the right time, then the heat will be naturally suppressed.” 

“Huh...” 

“Now back to you and Cullen. I’ve known Cullen for a while and Alistair knows him a bit better, but I know for a certain fact that Cullen won’t push you into accepting him. He’s hoping for you to do it on your own, yes, but he won’t push for it. Lycaon has also made sure to tell him of your past relationships and since Lycaon knows you better then any of us, I’m sure he’s told him to wait until you come around to accepting him on your own.” 

“What if I’m not ready?” 

Solona smirked then, “Sometimes taking the leap is better then waiting,” Then she giggled, “and honestly if I were you, I’d personally take that leap of faith because like Alistair, Cullen is one handsome man.” With that Solona left Xandra to think and as she stood with head and gaze lowered (and biting her lower lip). Xandra realized that maybe fighting the bond that she had with Cullen probably wasn’t the smartest idea she ever had, and thus, as she made her way back to camp, she decided to speak with Cullen. She wouldn’t accept him quite yet, but she figured it might not hurt to at least start opening up to him. Though a few days later, after all was said and done at Redcliffe (and Solona, Alistair, Leliana and Lycaon were gone off to seek out the one who called himself a “Brother”) Xandra would find that Solona’s magic would fade and her need for Cullen would come back full force to bite her right in the ass.


	6. Five (NSFW)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still not the best with these kinds of scenes. But hope you all enjoy! (Yes this will be the first of many)

Xandra was in the room that had been given to her to use while awaiting the return of Solona and the others when the heat had come back to bite her in the ass. Thankfully for her, she just happened to be in the room, reading a borrowed book, when it did and at first she was able to ignore it or well key word being _was_ until she went to bathe and found herself wondering if both she and Cullen could fit in it. Knowing that it was now coming back, she knew she had to make her choice now rather then later, and despite how badly her logical mind screamed at her that this was all wrong, she knew she couldn’t ignore what her body was longing for and needed. But once she was done with her bath, she found that she was suddenly tired (warm baths tended to do that to her) and so managed to crawl into her bed and passed out for a few good hours, until a knocking was heard at her door. Slowly waking up, she sat up and called for the person to enter, only to see the one her body was yearning for walking in. “Xandra?” He asked as he saw her rubbing her eyes and smiled. “You fell asleep?” 

“Warm baths tend to do that to me...” she muttered more to herself then to him as he approached. But when he stopped halfway he studied her closely for a moment. 

“The magic wore off?” He inquired as he tensed up suddenly. She could only nod in response, he noticed. She was still tired and he could see that, and while he was reacting to the fact that she was returning to being in heat, his need to let her sleep overpowered that. He glanced towards the door before looking at her. “Xandra, I...” he was torn, he wanted her. To claim her as his. But he also wanted to let her sleep as once she allowed him to claim her, sleep was most likely the last thing either of them would receive. 

“I know,” she was more awake now and watching him. “I’ve also been giving it some thought.” 

“Oh?” His amber-gold eyes landed on her and she nodded. 

“I’m still not fully ready to accept you, part of me might not ever be ready, but I also can’t keep avoiding you, or even this, forever.” He blinked at her in surprise. 

“What are you...?” 

“What Im trying to say is that though part of me will always be fighting the bond, I am willing to accept you and what it means to be your soulmate no matter what.” She wondered if she would come to regret those words but the look on his face was a mixture of relief and apprehension before his eyes flicked towards the door once more. “You can close and lock it. I won’t stop you.” He looked a bit suprised to hear that but was even more surprised to see her appear near to him and her scent began to drive him wild. 

“Are you sure? Once this is done, there is no going back.” He told her looking into her deep blue eyes. 

“I’m sure.” She nodded as he watched her carefully before moving towards the door and doing as she told him. Moving back over to her, he felt his eyes dilate as he picked up her scent. 

He wasn’t about to touch her, not unless she gave her permission, but that came in the form of a gentle kiss that soon ignited into heated passion as the kiss suddenly deepend, causing him to harden with arousal. He growled at her and she moaned as his hands were placed upon her hips. Pulling away for a brief moment to study her once more, he spoke, “I have a feeling we won’t be leaving this room for a while. Do you have witherstalk?” 

She pointed towards the dresser, “Apparently Solona was planning ahead. There is a drawer filled with it and some other potion.” 

“Most likely Elfroot,” he would have to remember to thank Solona later, but right now he looked to Xandra and leaned in again. “I hope you are ready.” He told her before her lips found his once more as they began kissing again. Suddenly, he picked her up and moved her to the bed where he laid her down and soon loomed over her. “I will try to be gentle.” He promised as she shivered with how husky his voice was. Once more their lips met and she found him exploring her body with his hands. She whined low and found him responsive to the pleading tone (that she wasnt even aware of being in her whine) as he suddenly pulled away to undress with her following suit. Normally she would be shy about undressing infront of a complete stranger, hell she would be normally be too ashamed to undress infront of anyone to include any female friends or family, but when she felt Cullen’s hands on her shoulders as he stopped her to help her finish undressing she felt his eyes looking over her shoulders and back and knew what he saw. The long and ugly scar that was from a car accident she had been in a year or so ago. “What happened?” He asked softly, his fingers gently tracing the scar (or rather scars) as she looked away from him. 

“An...accident...involving a...former friend of mine...” Xandra felt him suddenly kissing the main scar and felt a blush creep up upon her. 

“You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to,” he told her as she looked to him with a bit of surprise. 

“Will what we be doing bother it?” 

“No. The only time it really bothers me is on really cold nights or if I’m in a very cold area.” She wondered if he was going to keep that in mind for the future and felt him run his fingers along it carefully. 

“Then I will be sure to keep you warm and be sure to get you inside as soon as we are able if we have to stop anywhere where it is cold.” He told her as he continued to explore her upper body as his lips soon went to the back of her neck and moved from it to the area where her should met her next and then somehow ended up on her neck while his hands ran along her sides and snaked their way up to her now exposed breasts (which he managed to work into hardened peaks while part of her wondered where her breastband had gone too and when he had managed to slip it off of her without her knowing). He worked her and she found that she was growing more and more sensitive by the moment. “Its almost time for you to fully enter the heat,” He rumbled as she whined low. She could feel a warmth running through her as it started growing into an almost unbearable fire and found herself mentally begging him to end it. “I’m not going to take you until you enter it fully,” he explained as she  looked to him in wonder but he only returned the gaze with a mixture of arousal and gentleness that she wasn’t used to. “If I take you when you are in full heat, we will be able to end it sooner.” He told her softly as he returned to kissing her, before he suddenly began to nip his way from her lips to her jaw and down to where the jugular vein was in her throat. 

“How can you...” She wasn’t given a chance to answer as he slyly slipped his hand down her pants and beneath her smalls to begin rubbing at her most sensitive area. 

“You are my Soulmate. We are bound to each other. I will always be able to tell when you will enter full heat and I can also speed it up too,” he growled low as he began to tease her with a finger, while denying her what she really wanted. 

“Cullen...” she whined as he teased her. The fire already in her veins seemed to explode into and inferno as he teased and suddenly he stopped teasing and she gasped as his fingers suddenly parted her lips and found her core only to pierce her. He moved them quickly in and out of her and she almost, almost, began begging him for release. “Cullen...I...” she tried to speak but suddenly she found her voice to no longer work as he moved his fingers nimbly in and out while his thumb found her pearl and began rubbing it. 

“Almost,” he told her, “Its almost time,” he was shaking with the effort to hold himself back. He needed to bring her into the full heat first. He needed to be sure that she could take in his length and girth before he dared enter her and lock them together for the next few hours.  “Just a moment more...” he knew it then as he finally caused her to orgasm, he had brought her into full heat and now she was ready for him. “Now you are in full heat.” He spoke as he removed his hand, causing her to whine as he began to remove her pants and smalls in one motion. “Turn and look at me,” he growled as she did as told and his eyes dilated even more as their usual amber color gave way to a more dark gold. He leaned forward and began to kiss her passionately and deeply and she returned it. He growled as he sudden broke the kiss and studied her, “Bed. Now.” He commanded her and felt himself harden even further as he watched her obey his command. 

What he wasn’t aware of was that she knew his “Commander voice” and knew that it would be used often much later on in their lives. She was pleased, however, to have the change to watch him all but rip off his own pants and smalls before he loomed over her as he forced her to lay down as he pinned her arms to the bed. “Cullen, I need you.” She whined as her thoughts became scrambled again at the fact that he now had her pinned to the bed as if he was a lion and she his prey. 

“I know,” he studied her for a moment. “I know I promised to be gentle. But I cannot ignore my need. I’m sorry.” He apologized as she felt him suddenly lift her lower half up and suddenly begin to pierce her core with his cock. He took it slow, which she was partially grateful for, but it irritated her as she wanted it to be as hard and as fast as he could go, but she waited until he was fully sheathed within her and heard him muttering out a prayer before speaking to her. “Xandra you are...fuck! You are tight! You fit me perfectly...” he managed as he studied her face for a moment, checking for any signs of discomfort or pain. When she made a quick motion with her hips, he groaned and responded with his own movement. He set an agonizingly slow pace at first but soon he was pounding into her as she begged for him to go harder and faster. All that she could hear was the sounds of his animalistic groans, growls and grunts as she felt him sliding in and out at the pace he was and was sure that somewhere in the mixture of sounds was her own responding mewling, wordless pleas, and grunts as he worked her into another climax. Soon she heard him saying her name as if it was a prayer and felt her orgasm coming to her. 

“Cullen...I’m going to-!” Suddenly she felt her walls clamp down around him and screamed his name. “CULLEN!” 

Suddenly he began to use his thumb to rub at her already swollen pearl, “That’s it! Just keep this up for me!” He told her as another orgasm tore through her as he chased his own ending. Now he was thrusting into her as if he were a man possessed. “Xandra... Xandra...” Suddenly he seized up as he thrust one last time as deep as he could go and felt himself release into her awaiting womb as he roared out her name. Remembering that she still wasn’t aware of the full implications of being a soulmate, he quickly distracted her by claiming her lips with his as he soon began to swell within her. As they kissed he began to move once more and she moaned. This continued for several more hours, until he was able to pull away from her and smiled at seeing how she was looking at him. Yes he saw that she was still trying to fight the bond, but there was also amazement in her eyes at how he had been with her. He leaned down and rubbed his nose against hers and earned himsel a smile. “What?” He asked gently as he rolled onto his back while she rolled onto her side to trace over his own scars. 

“I was just thinking.” 

“About?” 

“How much you reminded me of a lion when you roared out my name when you first finished.” She traced his scars so lightly that if he hadn’t known she was doing it, he would have never noticed. She looked up to meet his amber gaze and saw amusement dancing there. 

“I did, did I?” He asked as she nodded. 

Mmn hmn,” she hummed in response before he pulled her close, causing her to yelp out in surprise. 

“Then if I am a lion, what are you?” He asked as he studied her carefully. 

“Not sure, but I am certainly no lamb.” 

He chuckled softly, “Don’t I know that one.” He purred as she snuggled up to him. They were both tired now and he knew what that was the sign of. Their bodies were getting ready for the shift they were about to go through both physically and mentally. “Let’s get some sleep,” he started before remembering that she needed to take the witherstalk, “After you take some of the witherstalk.” She made only a small noise of protest but went over to the drawer that Solona had stocked with the potions and taking one out she drank it and almost, _almost_ , gagged on the taste, earning a sympathetic look from him. After she put the empty bottle aside and had been encouraged to chase it down with some water, she found herself curling up with Cullen under the sheets and was soon passed out with him close behind. 


	7. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used:   
> The Willow Maid by Erutan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E52rxz2sjRs
> 
> Sleepsong by Secret Garden: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2xnPSRSSzU

For several more days, Cullen remained with Xandra until her heat cycle was over, but even then they found it hard to be away from each other for too long. Solona had forewarned Xandra that that would be normal after the first coupling as it was a way for a male half of a soulmated pair to ensure that only _HIS_ seed would take within his mate’s womb, and was also a way for the woman to be sure that only one male’s seed would ever only be within her. Granted, Solona had put a drawerful of witherstalk in one of Xandra’s dresser drawers along with a bunch of elfroot potions as Xandra was sure to be sore as fuck by the time she and Cullen were done and maybe sore still by the time her heat was over. 

Now a full several days later, Xandra awoke to feeling an arm wrapped securely around her waist and remembered who it was that was holding her close. While part of her wanted to slip out of his grasp (again her logical mind was bitching at her at how wrong all this was), the other part was content to just lay there and bask in the warmth the young man holding her was providing. Feeling her eyes grow heavy as she noted that it was still dark out, Xandra gave a small smile at the light snore Cullen gave off and closed her eyes as she drifted off back into sleep for a few more hours at the most. While she had physically come to terms with the fact that he was her Soulmate, mentally she was still trying to deny the bond she shared with him. But as she fell back into sleep, she found herself in an out-of-body experience and saw herself standing and looking skyward at a giant green tear in the sky she knew as The Breach. Wondering where this dream was heading Xandra allowed herself to watch and wasn't surprised to see an older version (and the most recognizable version) of Cullen running up to her side, which Xandra now noted that there was a massive pile of demon bodies littering the ground around her.  _I'm still a badass._

_"Xandra! Are you...?"  Cullen inquired as the fur upon the mantle around his shoulders waved in the wind that was also moving Xandra's longer and braided hair, but he stopped in his tracks upon seeing the bodies of the demons disappearing._

_"Everything is fine," She reassured the poor man who looked worse for the wear. "It will take more than some demons, or even darkspawn,  to bring me down, you and I both know this."_

_"Maker's breath!" He managed as he studied all around watching as bodies disappeared left and right. Then he noted the **mountain** of bodies behind her as she turned to face him and his jaw dropped as he watched three Pride Demons, six Lesser Terror demons, and an untold number of other demons vanish. _

_"You know with as long as we've known each other, I would think you would be used to seeing a mountain of bodies around me by now." Xandra pointed out as he looked towards her again._

_"I am but... **THREE** Pride Demons?! And you took them on **ALONE**?!" _

_"And this shocks you why?" Xandra fired back as he looked to her and sighed._

_"I should be used to this..." He sighed heavily as he ran a hand across his face._

_"Look on the bright side," Xandra smirked at him as she walked towards the edge of the cliff like area, "At least none of them are dragons." She told him while covering her eyes to look towards the ground (what she called ground zero) near the breach and spotted more demons rushing their way._

_"Maker save me the day you do take on a dragon,"  Cullen sighed again before noting what she was seeing._

_"Oh look," She smirked as she grabbed her daggers from the ground. "The demonic calvary has arrived."_

_"Xandra." Cullen tried to warn her but she only flashed a sharpened canine at him. Which made the younger version watching all this wonder how her canine teeth could become so sharp._

_"Catch up if you can, Love." She purred before rushing forward and literally DIVING headfirst off of the cliff with a "woohoo" thrown in there somewhere._

_"DAMNIT XANDRA!" Cullen called after her as he took the more sensible way around._

Xandra awoke with a bit of a start, mind racing at what felt like a billion miles per second. _What could have happened to me to cause my canine teeth to become sharp like they were in that dream?_ She wondered as she noted that Cullen was not in the room with her anymore, which she absentmindedly figured was due to the fact that he only really ever left her side to go get them something to eat and drink. Biting her lip in thought, she just barely missed the sound of Cullen returning to the room and looked up as he called to her. 

"Xandra?" 

"Bad dream," She told him as he frowned but didn't push for more details. Instead, he sat down beside her, placing the tray between them and they began to eat, but afterward they spent some time with her wrapped in his arms as she dozed in and out of the conscious world and he spoke softly. 

****

About a month later, Xandra found herself with Solona and the others (meaning Alistair, Leliana, Lycaon, Wynne, a witch named Morrigan, Solona's dog, and Cullen) as they walked towards a town in the mountains named Haven and that night after they had made camp, Lycaon turned to his sister (who was sitting on the ground next to Cullen who was sitting on a log and speaking to Alistair about something) and suddenly spoke up. "Hey, sis?"

"Hmn?" She looked at her brother after lifting her head from where it rested on Cullen's knee, which in turn caused the young man to look to her for a moment before all turned to Lycaon who spoke. 

"It's kind of quiet."

"Is that a hint for something?"

"Yeah, that song you found that you adore."

"Which one, there are hundreds of those."

"That one with the willow tree, the fairy, and the young man."

"The Willow Maid?" Xandra knew what he was getting at now and her eyes narrowed at him and he only smiled innocently in return. "Oh don't go there, you are _NOWHERE_ near innocent." She said as he smirked now, "But fine. Let me see if I can remember the start." She closed her eyes for a moment and smirked as she began to sing, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and listen.  _"A young man walked through the forest, with his quiver and hunting bow. He heard a young girl singing, and followed the sound below; there he found the maiden who lives in the willow. He called to her as she listened from a ring of toadstools red, 'Come with me my maiden. Come from thy willow bed'. She looked at him serenely and only shook her head. See me now, a ray of light in the moondance. See me now, I cannot leave this place. Hear me now, a strain of song in the forest. Don't ask me to follow where you lead..."_ Xandra opened her eyes but continued the song despite everyone watching her as she sang, _"A young man walked through the forest, with a flower and a coat of green. His love had hair like fire, her eyes an emerald sheen. She wrapped herself in beauty, so young and so serene. He stood there under the willow and he gave her the yellow bloom, 'Girl my heart you've captured, oh I would be your groom'. She said she'd wed him never, not near nor far nor soon. See me now, a ray of light in the moondance. See me now, I cannot leave this place. Hear me now, a strain of song in the forest. Don't ask me to follow where you lead..."_ Lycaon frowned now but Xandra only continued the song,  _"A young man walked through the forest, with an axe sharp as a knife, 'I'll take the green-eyed fairy, and she shall be my wife. With her I'll raise my children. With her I'll live my life'. The Maiden wept when she heard him when he said he'd set her free. He took his axe and used it to bring down her ancient tree. 'Now your willow's fallen, now you belong to me'. See me now, a ray of light in the moondance. See me now, I cannot leave this place. Hear me now, a strain of song in the forest. Don't ask me to follow where you lead..."_ Everyone looked shocked at that, but she only continued, " _She followed him out the forest and collapsed upon the earth. Her feet had walked but a distance from the green land of her birth. She faded into a flower that would bloom for one bright eve. He could not take from the forest what was never meant to leave."_ Silence followed her words and she returned her head to Cullen's knee while his fingers ran through her hair. 

"That was..." Leliana couldn't find the words for it. 

"Not what we were expecting at all," Solona frowned from where she sat with Alistair. 

Xandra spoke then, "Those types of songs often have a lesson to them. What that lesson is can vary from person to person, but I see it as a warning." Xandra was starting to fall asleep as Cullen continued to run his fingers through her hair. "Keep that up and I will fall asleep." She told him as he smiled. 

"And I will carry you to the tent, should you fall asleep," he told her softly. Since their coupling, they found it hard to be away from each other for too long and thus Solona had suggested that they do what she and Alistair and Lycaon and Leliana were all doing and share a tent. At first Xandra and Cullen were a bit reluctant, but with a gentle nudge from Wynne (who was basically like the mother of the group), Xandra and Cullen had agreed to attempt it and the two had found that they preferred sleeping together especially since they knew that Cullen would have to return to the Order once the Blight was over. After they had established who would be of the first watch, Cullen and Xandra went to their tent to sleep but did end up speaking for a bit. "...I just don't want to bother you or hurt you if I have another nightmare..." He tried telling her as she smiled and placed her hand on his cheek.

"I'm not worried about you hurting me Cullen," She told him softly as he watched her, "Lay down and relax."

"Easier said then done..." he whispered as she began to hum a song unfamiliar to him, "What are you..." but he found himself slowly trailing off as she began to sing. 

 _"Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby. Back_ _to the years of loo-li lai-lay, and I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow. Bless you with love for the road that you go. May you sail far to the far fields of fortune with diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet, and may you need never to banish misfortune. May you find kindness in all that you meet. May there always be angels to watch over you, to guide you each step of the way, to guard you and keep you safe from all harm... Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay..."_ She hummed some more at that moment and Cullen found himself drifting off even further. _"May you bring love and may you bring happiness, be loved in return to the end of your days. Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you, I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay. May there always be angels to watch over you. To guide you each step of the way, to guard you and keep you safe from all harm... Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay. Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay..."_ She trailed off as he finally dropped out of consciousness and into the Fade. After that, she found herself curling up to him and he subconciously wrapped his arms around her and she fell asleep with a smile on her face.


	8. Seven

"Okay, so now I can officially say I can cross off "fighting a bunch a batshit insane Cultists and their crazy ass leader" off my bucket list of things to do before I grow old and die. Now If I could just find a couple of dragons, some werewolves, and a sentient Darkspawn, then I will be able to happily able to kick the bucket and call it good." Xandra smirked as she walked over to the others, who were all covered in blood splatter just like her. Alistair gave her a funny look, Cullen was frowing in disapproval, Solona snorted, Leliana wondered just how long Xandra’s list was and the others had mixed reactions but only Lycaon laughed. 

“Sister, the day you die will be the day the sun grows cold.” 

“Hey,” Xandra smirked, “stranger things have happened!” 

“That is true,” Lycaon returned her smile before they all turned their attention towards the outside. “So who all is going with you in there Solona?” 

“I will take Cullen, Xandra, and you, Lycaon,” Solona looked to him while the others nodded in repect to her wish. Xandra, Lycaon and Cullen began to follow her while the others went back to the main hall of the Temple to await their return. Xandra followed without a word yet the other three could tell that something was on her mind, what it was they would never find out as the moment they entered the central chamber they were confronted by the one who called himself The Guardian. He asked each of them a defining character question and each responded in kind, but he seemed especially interested in Xandra and her greatest regret. 

“Xandra,” he addressed her now as the others turned to look at her. When he asked her his question, the other three watched her carefully.

“I...” Xandra looked down with eyes closing. “Yes. Everyday. I regret not stopping her before she was killed.” Xandra felt tears  burning in her eyes now. “I regret not being a better friend, for not being able to stop her when she went out to face that mass murder alone. For being so... I was a worthless friend who didn’t value her friendship until it was too late. And I regret it every day that I live and breath, for everyday that I do is another day that she doesn’t.” Everyone, even Lycaon, watched Xandra with pure shock and horror written on their faces which soon turned into sorrow. “Every night when I go to sleep, I wish that I could go back to that day, and rush out to face that man instead of her. To take her place and be killed or even badly injured instead of her...” Xandra trailed off as the Guardian watched her with a sad, yet knowing, look. Once he was gone and they were allowed to pass through, Xandra found Cullen taking her hand into his own and allowed herself a small moment of weakness as she returned the gentle squeeze he gave her hand. Several hours later, once they had figured out all of the puzzles within the “Gauntlet” (from where Solona and Xandra both now had major headaches from figuring out the puzzles), They found themselves and the entire group hightailing it back to Redcliffe, so the Arl could be cured from the ailment that had overtaken him, but as they stopped for the night, Xandra found herself slinking away from the group to think over what the Guardian had brought forth from the hidden parts of her heart and mind. To think over that memory that honestly haunted Xandra at every moment of time.

What she didn’t realize was that Leliana had spotted her slinking away and was about to follow when Lycaon took her wrist. Looking towards him, Leliana watched as he shook his head before motioning her to follow him and explained the situation as both watched Cullen trail after Xandra carefully. Leliana’s eyes widened at what Lycaon told her and she felt sorrow form deep within her heart for Xandra. “And she still blames herself?” Leliana asked looking into Lycaon’s eyes. 

“Xandra isn’t...” he sighed then. “If Xandra... My sister is someone who will blame herself heavily if she is unable to stop someone from doing something that results in their death. Her friend’s death...Xandra and her friend were extremely close, like they could have been sisters with the way they acted. So when her friend died, Xandra took to blaming herself.” Lycaon frowned as he watched the direction Xandra and Cullen had vanished into. “I don’t think Xandra will ever stop blaming herself for her best friend’s death. I know I wouldn’t be able to.” Leliana noted that Solona and Alistair were also watching the direction Xandra and Cullen had gone off to with sadness in their gazes.

“She shouldn’t have to suffer alone,” Leliana felt her heart breaking for Xandra.

“I have a feeling Cullen won’t let her suffer in silence for much longer,” Lycaon told her as he looked to Leliana then wrapped her in his arms. “Right now, the most we can do is let Cullen handle Xandra as there really isn’t anything more we can do for her.” He told Leliana who rested her head on his chest.

As Lycaon and Leliana spoke, Cullen made his was to where Xandra was now sitting and spoke softly. “Hey,” he watched her look towards him before turning her gaze back towards the ground where she was busy peeling the bark of a twig. 

“Hey,” she managed through her hoarse tone which told him she had been crying. Sitting down next to her, he wrapped an arm around her and she leaned into his half-embrace. He didn’t bring up what had been spoken by the Guardian or by her, he didn’t even talk, he just sat there and held her as he waited for her to speak which he figured would take a while since she was still quite upset. “There’s a story of sorts where I come from...” she started as he listened. “Its odd in its own right but its called “A Good Death” and what what the Guardian asked me and what I told him...it made me think of that story.” 

“Oh?” 

“Yes. In it there is a women who is apart of a traveling group that puts on shows who meets a creature or...creatures... called Kindred after taking a walk through the woods to ease her troubled mind. Kindred, mind you, is a being that is a lamb who wears a mask of the wolf and a wolf who wears the mask of the lamb...its a form of death if you will,” Xandra continued picking at the twig, “Well having found them, Kindred offered the woman a choice: a change to chose the Lamb’s arrow or be chased by the Wolf. The woman choses Lamb’s arrow and is spared that night for it was not that woman’s time to die. Well after returning to the caravan to discover that everyone had been slaughter by bandits, she fled that place and never looked back, but only after taking two masks from the caravan. Many years later, the woman is with another group and dons the two masks. As she performs the act of giving all her acting partners a “Good death” by using one mask or the other. Everyone claps at the “Good Deaths” even her own but as she looked into the audience, she saw that all were wearing masks, of either a lamb or a wolf.” Cullen remained quiet to allow her to finish. “The masks she wore, those were the masks she had taken from her old Caravan. Those masks were the masks of the Lamb and the Wolf. She  had been pierced by Lamb’s arrow. Significantly Kindred means two things: the Lamb means that a person died of natural causes, the Wolf means the person died unnaturally... Kara loved Kindred’s story and in some way, though I never understood how, I do too,” _Even though I never played the game in which they feature._ Xandra thought that last part almost bitterly as she remembered how much Kara had loved playing that game, “She used to look at me and go ‘Xandra, if we were to be like Kindred, would you be Wolf or Lamb?’ And I would reply with ‘I would be Wolf, because I like to chase things. I would be the unnatural cause of death for alot of people. You would be better suited to be Lamb, Kara’...How bitter it is to know that if Kindred was real, that Wolf had taken my friend from me while Lamb decided that my time to die was not that day...” Cullen only held her as tears slid down her cheeks. 

“Though I wish your friend had lived,” he started, “But I am glad you are alive.” 

“Why?” 

“Because,” Cullen said as she looked up into his eyes, “Had Wolf taken you that day, we never would have found each other and I have been waiting for you for a very long time.” He told her as he ran his fingers along the side of her face before placing the palm of said hand onto her cheek.

“Cullen...” she leaning into the palm of his hand that he had placed on her cheek, and closed her eyes. She was still struggling to fully accept him, but in that moment he managed to knock down an entire wall that was guarding her heart. 

He leaned forward and place his head against hers and that sat that way for several moments with no words being passed between them as words were not needed at that moment. “Are you ready to head back to the camp?” He inquired quietly as she opened her eyes and they pulled away. 

“I think...I just need a minute longer and then I will be,” Xandra infromed him as he nodded. 

“Then I will stay until you are ready to head back.” And stay he did.


End file.
